Pedophiles, Molesters and Incest- Oh My!!!

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dorothyThey are everywhere. You probably know some. They are friends, family, neighbors, fellow church members, church leaders, teachers, doctors… you name it, they have filled those shoes. Yes, Virginia, child molestation is a big problem in our country. It’s a bigger problem worldwide especially if you throw in child sex trafficking and child brides. It’s 2013, folks! Children are not worthless pieces of property anymore. I say all of this because I find it disheartening how little people give a shit about the subject. There has been interest in my story but sometimes I feel like it’s because it’s a sideshow for someone else’ entertainment. This is a serious topic that affects millions of people, not just me. Yes, it’s uncomfortable to talk about. It’s gross to hear. It’s sad when you find out that someone you know or love has been victimized. It’s also maddening when you find out that you know someone who was the perpetrator, especially when it’s someone you have been emotionally tied to in a good way. It’s hard to look at that person different or imagine that they should be in prison for the rest of their lives. I get that, I really do.

I know it’s a difficult subject. I understand that it’s a hard pill to swallow that you probably know a child that is being repeatedly violated by another person you know.  You want to know how we get them to stop? We start talking about it. We bring it up at the dinner table. We talk to our kids and other parents. We get the word out that we know how to spot a pedophile and we know what to look for in a child that is being abused. Turning a blind eye or a deaf ear is not the right thing to do. If you can put your energy into fighting for or against gay rights, abortion, the environment, animals, etc. then you can put a tiny bit of effort into this subject. The good news for you is that it doesn’t cost any money or time, just your attention.

Here’s what I want you to know. I want you to know how to spot a potential pedophile. They aren’t always that creepy looking guy with a pencil mustache and Coke-bottle-bottom glasses. They can be as good-looking as Brad Pitt, as successful as a top university’s football coach, a spiritual leader or even female. I also want you to know how to recognize that a child is being violated, especially your own children. We also need to understand how to protect our children without causing unnecessary fear or being a crazy helicopter parent.

The next few posts will address these three topics. It’s a sort of research project for me. If any of my readers would like to add their two cents on how to spot pedophiles, victims or how to talk to kids about it, please leave a comment or private message me and I’ll add your words with credit into these posts.

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10 responses »

  1. Thanks for speaking out. I too was abused by my adopted “mother” for 17 1/2 years and still managed to become a sane adult. She is the reason my blog focuses on pedophiles. Kudos.

    • I briefly read through your blog. You have a lot of important information on there and it looks like you work pretty diligently to find it. Thank you for that! People need to know that they know pedophiles and their victims whether they want to recognize it or not.

    • Thank YOU for speaking out! I hope pedophiles get the message: it may be a secret while we are you but we have the right and the power to speak out when we are old enough. I hope more people do so! Thanks for reading!

  2. Okay, Julie, I’m going to walk away now before I start typing like a maniac and stop making sense.

    You have a good day. I’m proud of you for speaking out and bring attention to something that is still taboo in our country.

    Have a great week!

    • Oh Charity, you crack me up! Your anger is rightfully justified and I don’t mind it at all! That’s what we bloggers do, right? Anyway, glad you stopped by.
      Take care

  3. Hi Julie,

    I’m awfully sad that you were repeatedly raped, mocked, insulted and abused all throughout your childhood.

    I want to thank you for using your blog as a teaching tool. I will definitely be checking back with your blog to see what I need to learn as a parent and what I need to continue to teach them.

    I agree, we must call rape rape! Do you know that here in Tennessee when someone forces themselves on someone by means of a sexual organ, an object, anally or orally it’s called rape, but not all of those are considered rape in New York! How backwards is that?! There are cops in NYC who, knowing this, have forced women into oral and anal sex because they know that their punishment for sexual assault is weaker than what it is for rape. I get so pissed when I read news articles like that.

    I live just north of Memphis and do you know that the city has thousands, yes, thousands, of rape kits that have not been through DNA testing because of lack of funding?! This makes me furious when I think of what those people went through when they were raped and what they dealt with as they were examined post rape without lubrication because DNA would be compromised. Then I get even more pissed when I think of all the men, women and children those same sorry sons (and daughters too) of bitches will rape again because those rape kits aren’t examined.

    I’m sorry, I blew up really bad on that last paragraph. I had to watch the story a couple of times on the local news a week or so ago because I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It’s sad that society allows for raped men, women and children to be treated like poor animals at a puppy mill. It makes my heart throb in my ears and my eyes water I get so mad!

    • It’s ok to get angry about that! It angers me too! I don’t understand why we spend so much money on the drug war when this shit is happening right under our noses. Or how about a real war that we are funding? It’s sad and disgusting where our countries priorities are. The laws don’t protect the innocent or bring justice to the criminals.

      • Julie, I’m tired of it too! Fighting unnecessary wars for political interests and to make the rich richer and the poor poorer. Don’t even get me started on how there’s a drug problem because of the rich and leaders making gobs of money off of it! (I promise, I’m not mad at you, knowing that Kerry and Obama are going to make a way somehow, regardless of at least 9 out of 10 Americans not wanting it, to start, yet, another war makes me angry!)

        Priorities is the word! Our men, women and children right here around us need our money, dedication, time, compassion and attention.

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