Age 25

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We were a happily married couple. Age 25 was pretty uneventful with my mother. I honestly didn’t speak to her much after the wedding. While it was beautiful, I felt screwed because it wasn’t really what I wanted and I took on extra debt that I hadn’t planned on. The way I was treated over the guest list also left me disenchanted a bit. After the wedding, there was the looming attitude of “look what I did for you… you owe me everything… do as I say…” I just couldn’t deal with her and Todd wasn’t happy with her either and he was having a difficult time understanding why I even had a relationship with them considering what Dave did to me. Because of the tension and work/school schedules, we opted to not visit them for Thanksgiving or Christmas. We did, however, make a last minute decision to go to Chicago with a couple of friends for New Year’s Eve. Our friends that we met through were there visiting her parents. They had moved out to Wyoming soon after we got married. She was pregnant too, so I was anxious to see them.

We planned on waiting a couple of years to have kids so we could get out of debt and Todd could finish school. He had been in bible college studying to be a pastor. That is not where we are now, but that story is for another post. I was on the Depo shot as a means of birth control. In October, we had decided that I would quit Depo and get on something else because it made me very moody. I had also ballooned up to over 200lbs. The doctors tell you that if you quit Depo, don’t plan on getting pregnant right away so we figured that we had a little bit of time to get the hormones out of my system before getting on something else. What they don’t tell you is that if you are over 195, the dosage isn’t as effective. When we got up to Chicago, Ginger was a wretch. She did have enough energy to tease me about being pregnant. I kept telling her that I wasn’t. I still hadn’t had a period and I always felt like crap anyway so I had no idea (I just recently found out that I have celiac so that explains why I always felt horrible). We dropped our friends off at their homes after the trip. As soon as the last guy was out of the car, Todd turned to me and asked if I was pregnant. I assured him that I wasn’t. He wasn’t so sure so he made a bee-line to Walgreen’s and made me get a pregnancy test. They were ALL right. It was positive! Nine months into our marriage and we were expecting our first child.

I was already over 200lbs when I got pregnant and then I got even fatter. I craved whoppers and peanut butter all the time. Our son was born that August. We had been very specific with our family about the birth of our child. We told them (my parents and my in-laws) that we didn’t want anyone at the hospital until we welcomed people. I really wanted to spend time and nurse and all that. I also wanted to rest and clean up before anyone showed up. My water broke at 4am. We called my mother since she had a long drive (4 1/2 hours). She got there in 3 1/2 hours and showed up at 9am. My in-laws were in the waiting room by 7am. My son wasn’t born until almost 3pm. I was not very happy and barely got to spend the time that I wanted. To top that off, my mother sat in my room for hours and hours. I let her stay the night at my house over night. I know she meant well but I really didn’t need her help. I didn’t have other kids to care for and Todd was able to take ample time off. I didn’t want to be rude because she really wanted to see her new and first grand-baby and she wanted to help. It was just awkward because I was trying to rest, nurse and take care of myself. She was there… just watching… and sitting… the whole fucking time. I was in the hospital for three days. By the afternoon of the 2nd day (24 hours after birth), I had to ask her to leave. I really couldn’t take my mother (or anyone) just sitting there, watching me while I slept and nursed and dealt with my personal effects. I really got no privacy. Luckily, she wasn’t rude to me at all. It was one of the few times in her life that she acted understanding. I think she was getting bored too. She was on a low during this year. She wasn’t really very reactive and remained calm for the most part.

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