Age 5


I was in kindergarten. I still wasn’t aware that what was happening to me was anything wrong or bad. In fact, he had won my heart. We were pals, best friends, I trusted him with my whole heart and loved him. What I did know was that my mother was mean. She yelled at me a lot. I clearly remember her telling me to clean my room. After having children of my own, I realize that they are incapable of cleaning to an adult’s expectations. My mom didn’t quite recognize that. I kept getting sidetracked with my Rainbow Bright doll and all of my coloring books. She stormed into my room and started throwing things. She then told me that if I don’t pick up that she would put me out by the street for someone else to pick up. She hated me, I was sure of it.

There are only a few things from kindergarten that I remember. I remember making the wax Christmas tree in art. I think art class must have been my favorite because that’s what I remember the most. I also remember the boy Michael. I thought he was cute. I remember daydreaming about him and I hugging each other… naked. I’m guessing that I might have been exposed to porn about that time. I don’t really remember that but the dream has always stuck with me.



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